The small things

I need to give myself a chance to mourn the little things. Today I moved our baby girls bathtub down to the basement. Chances are we may not get to use the little pink bathtub again. We definitely won't be using the newborn sling included with the tub. Honestly our little monkeys probably thrilled about that. She wasn't one that really loved bath time. I love bathtime though and had hoped she would eventually find it one of her favorite activities. That's one we will have to work on down the road.

Our little girl will be in the harness 24 hours a day, seven days a week for the forseeable future. After our appointment yesterday, we still don't have a clear picture on severity of her case or the length of treatment. It turns out it depends much more on how she takes to her treatment rather than how severe her case is. If the harness does its job, we are looking at a shorter journey of maybe 10 to 12 or  weeks of full-time wear with some part-time follow-up after that. If she doesn't take to the harness we could be looking at hard casting and possibly surgery. Worst case scenario we could be dealing with this for a few years.

No matter what, she'll have to have checks up until she's probably around 9 to 10 years old just to make sure her hips fully developed the way they should. That means this paranoia that lives with me now, watching her every move, looking at her hips, listening to every creak and every squeal wondering if her body is doing what it supposed to do - will stay here for a long time.

The normal we thought we had doesn't exist anymore. This is our new normal and we will get through it no matter what. In the meantime I just need to mourn the little things.